What 3am thoughts really cost us (and how to quiet them)

Remember that client situation I shared last week? The one where I caught myself before sending that passive-aggressive response?

Here’s what I didn’t tell you…

In the past, a situation like that would’ve replayed in my mind for days. You know that 3am loop where you run through every possible response? Where you craft the perfect email in your head—then second-guess if it’s too harsh or not firm enough?

(Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s lost sleep over this… 😅)

But this time was different.

When I paused to recognize what was really triggering me—the deeper need underneath the surface emotion—something shifted.

Instead of reacting to the symptoms (missed calls, lack of acknowledgment), I addressed the root issue: my need for mutual respect in professional relationships.

My response felt clean. Supportive. Loving. Firm.

And here’s what surprised me most: once I sent that email, I didn’t think about it again. Not once.
No middle-of-the-night replays. No questioning if I should’ve said something different.

Even more interesting? Two weeks later, that same client showed up, for our last call, more engaged than ever before.
The boundary hadn’t damaged our relationship—it had strengthened it.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Those 3am thoughts? The mental energy we spend crafting and re-crafting responses?
It’s not just costing us sleep. It’s costing us clarity. Peace of mind. Presence in other areas of our lives.

But there’s another way.

When we learn to pause and connect with what’s really driving our reactions, we can respond from a place of grounded clarity—not reactive emotion.

The result isn’t just better boundaries.
It’s better sleep.
Better peace of mind.
Better relationships.

I’m curious—how much mental energy do you spend rehearsing conversations or replaying situations?
Hit reply and let me know if this resonates.

With warmth,
Jenny

P.S. Next week, I’m sharing something special—a simple framework I’ve developed to help you find this kind of clarity and confidence in your own boundary-setting moments. Stay tuned!

P.P.S. If you’re interested in working together, here are two opportunities:

• If you would like to explore what coaching together might look like, I offer complimentary sample calls - no strings attached.
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