The Childhood Moment That Revealed a Leadership Truth

How a childhood moment on Lake Michigan taught me the most powerful principle in sales and leadership

That summer, on a Lake Michigan beach, I started using the same principles I now help others apply in sales and leadership (without even knowing it).

My family camped at the same spot every summer. The sand dunes, the waves, the week of pure freedom...it was magic. But that particular summer, there was a sandcastle competition, and my friend and I had our eyes on the prize: a bright kite hanging from the judge’s tent.

While other kids got busy building elaborate mermaids and towering castles, I found myself really listening to the park worker who would be judging. She kept talking about protecting the wildflowers, respecting the wildlife, and keeping the beach clean. Something about her passion stuck with me.

“Why don’t we do something about lake life and recycling?” I asked my friend. Not because it was strategic. Because it felt important.

As we started building, something shifted. It wasn’t just about winning anymore. We pulled actual trash from the beach, created little recycling stations in our sandcastle, and built a whole story around protecting this place we loved. While other kids focused on design, we focused on meaning. We had a message.

When it was time to present, we didn’t just show our castle. We told a story. And something amazing happened: the other kids got excited too. They started asking questions about the environment, about recycling, about how they could help.

We won the kite. But more importantly, I learned something I’d carry with me for life. When you truly listen to what matters to someone and connect it to what matters to you, magic happens.

The Three Pillars of Authentic Connection

That ten-year-old on the beach had no idea she was stumbling on a framework I now teach to sales professionals and leaders every week. Here's what’s been hiding in plain sight:

1. Deep Listening Over Surface Hearing

Most people listen to reply. Authentic connectors listen to understand.
When I really heard that park worker’s passion for environmental protection, it wasn’t just background noise. It was insight into what mattered most to her.

Try this: Ask yourself, Am I listening for my next talking point, or for what truly matters to the person in front of me?

2. Values Alignment, Not Value Extraction

We didn’t build that recycling castle to impress the judge. We built it because we cared about that beach too. When your values align with your client’s needs, selling becomes serving.

Try this: Before your next client conversation, ask yourself what they might care about. Not just their business goals, but their deeper values and motivations.

3. Story Over Strategy

We could have built the most technically perfect sandcastle. Instead, we built one with meaning. Stories connect. Strategies convince. And connection lasts longer.

Try this: Share why you do what you do, not just what you do. People buy from people they trust, and trust comes from understanding your motivation.

When Introversion Becomes Your Sales Superpower

Last week, someone in my sales training told me she didn’t think she’d be good at sales because she’s an introvert. She thought she needed to be louder, more aggressive, more “salesy.”

Have you ever felt that way?

Here’s what I told her: Your quiet attention is not a liability. It’s your superpower.

While extroverts might fill the room with energy, introverts often bring something even more valuable. Genuine connection through thoughtful questions and deep listening.

It didn’t take long to see that her quiet, thoughtful style was one of her greatest assets. She asked some of the best questions (and follow-up questions) all week long.

The Questions That Change Everything

Whether you’re leading a team, coaching a client, or building relationships in your business, try asking:

What really matters to this person beyond what they’re telling me?

How can I genuinely serve their deeper needs, not just their surface requests?

What story am I telling, and is it true to who I really am?

Am I listening to understand, or just to respond?

Your Natural Gifts Are Enough

Looking back, I can see it clearly. That ten-year-old already knew what I’ve spent decades learning:
Authentic listening and genuine care will always outperform pressure tactics.

Your ability to listen, ask thoughtful questions, and truly care is not a weakness. It’s the foundation of real, lasting success.

The best sales professionals aren’t the slickest talkers. They’re the ones who understand what matters most to their clients.

The most effective leaders aren’t the loudest voices in the room. They’re the ones who make space for others to be heard.

Sales isn’t trickery. Leadership isn’t manipulation. Both are about real connection, something you already know how to do.

So, here’s my question for you:
What would change in your work if you trusted your natural ability to connect authentically?

I’d love to hear from you. Hit reply and let me know: what’s one way you could bring more authentic listening into your work this week?

And if you’re ready to deepen your authentic approach to sales and leadership, I’d be honored to support you. Reach out any time. Let’s explore what’s possible when you lead with what already comes naturally.

Warmly,
Jenny