Over the last couple of weeks, I had a parenting moment that stuck with me.
My daughter recently started an all-girls kickball league.
The first practice was…uncomfortable.
She didn’t want to go onto the field. She felt embarrassed. She was worried people would laugh at her.
So I stood out there with her.
While the other parents were gathered along the sidelines, I was standing on the grass next to my six-year-old, trying to look casual while very much feeling like the only parent on the field.
And if I’m being honest, it was harder for me than it was for her.
I was very aware of the other parents standing along the sidelines. I found myself wondering what they were thinking.
Was I coddling her? Was I not pushing her enough? Was I preparing her for the real world?
It’s amazing how quickly your brain can spiral in moments like that.
She was actually fine, a little hesitant, but participating here and there. Meanwhile, I was the one sitting in the real discomfort.
Before the second practice this week, I told her, “We’ll just take it slow again like last time.”
But inside, I was honestly dreading it and already picturing the same scenario unfolding.
The whole situation made me realize something I witness all the time in coaching.
When someone we care about is struggling, whether it’s a child or a client, the instinct to fix shows up fast.
We want to give the advice, offer the reassurance, and solve the moment.
Sometimes that urge is about helping them. But sometimes it’s about relieving our own discomfort. And, quite often for me, about proving I'm capable.
One of the core principles of coaching is that people need space to have their own experience.
Not because we don’t care. But because growth usually comes from wrestling with something yourself, not from someone handing you the answer.
Parenting, I’m realizing, asks for the same discipline: staying close and offering support, while allowing the experience to unfold without trying to manage every moment.
What surprised me most is that when I stepped back a little, my daughter found her way just fine. And I can't rush the timeline.
And the bigger realization for me was this:
Sometimes the discomfort we’re trying to fix isn’t actually theirs. It’s ours. And sometimes what people really need, whether they’re six or fifty, isn’t advice or solutions.
It’s space. Space to think, to feel what they’re feeling, to arrive at their own next step.
That’s also the spirit behind something small I’m offering right now.
Through the end of March, I’m opening a handful of complimentary Clarity Conversations, simply a thoughtful space for someone to talk through something in work or life.
No pressure, no expectation, and no assumption that it leads to coaching. Just a real conversation.
If that would be helpful for you, you can book a time here:
https://calendly.com/jenny_bv/coaching-exploration-call
And if someone comes to mind who might appreciate that kind of space right now, feel free to forward this along.
Warmly,
Jenny