There’s a moment I want to tell you about.
I was mid-session with a client last week. The conversation was moving, and I felt this pull. My mind was already three questions ahead, mapping out the path I was sure they needed.
And then I stopped.
Because I recognized what was happening. That pull wasn’t about them. It was about me.
It was the inner voice that shows up when I most want to prove my worth as a coach: Am I asking the right question? Is there something better I could say? Am I giving them enough value right now?
All of that noise, all of that energy, pointed inward. At me. When the only place it needed to be was on them.
I took a breath. I gave it space. And I let my client lead.
Here’s the thing, though. That inner narrative isn’t just a coaching thing.
It shows up in the meeting where you’re half-listening because part of your brain is already rehearsing what you’ll say next. It shows up in the one-on-one with your direct report where you’re nodding along but internally calculating whether you’re coming across as a strong enough leader. It shows up in the conversation with your boss where the competing story running underneath is: do they think I’m good enough?
That’s the loop. And it is exhausting.
You know that feeling when you leave a full day of conversations completely drained, and you can’t quite explain why? That’s it. That’s the inner narrative pulling focus, burning energy, keeping you from actually being present with the person in front of you.
I’m not saying I’ve figured this out. I haven’t.
But I’m learning to notice when the story shifts from “them” to “me.” To take a breath. To recenter. To come back to the person in front of me.
That’s the work I do on myself so I can show up fully for the people I coach. And it’s the work that moves the needle, not just in coaching sessions, but in every conversation that matters.
I’m curious: where do you notice that inner narrative showing up most for you? Is it in meetings? With your team? With your boss?
If you recognize that exhaustion, I’d love to talk. I have a few spots open for complimentary coaching calls right now. Hit reply or send me a message and let’s find some time.
And if this resonated, share it with someone who might need to hear it too.
Until next time,
Jenny