The moment I knew I had to let go
I’ve been thinking about transformation lately, specifically, the kind that requires you to let go of who you used to be so you can become who you’re meant to be.
It started with a moment in the park.
The Turning Point
It was 2018, several weeks after our late-term pregnancy loss. I was sitting on the warm grass, sunshine filtering through the trees above me, feeling completely drained. Even simple activities left me mentally and physically exhausted.
I was in full-on healing mode.
But as I sat there, I could feel this internal tug-of-war happening:
On one side, all the logical “shoulds” were screaming at me:
- Stick with your job
- Play it safe after everything you’ve been through
- Be grateful for the stability and recognition
On the other side was something quieter but more persistent, a deep knowing that whispered:
- You can’t honor this loss by playing small
- You can’t heal by staying hidden in something that no longer feels aligned
I realize now that was my first real lesson in what someone recently called “learning to die while you’re still alive.”
What Does It Mean to “Die While Living”?
I heard this phrase on a podcast recently, and it caught my attention. The idea is that real transformation often requires letting parts of your old identity fall away so you can fully step into who you’re becoming.
That park moment? I was facing my first conscious choice to let an old version of myself transform.
The version of me who found safety in corporate credentials. Who let company logos define her identity.
Not because those things were bad, I was genuinely proud of my career. But because something fundamental had shifted in me, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
What I See Now
Working with clients over the years, I’ve watched this same moment happen again and again:
The successful executive who knows they’re meant for something more but can’t quite name what.
The entrepreneur who keeps hitting the same ceiling because they’re still operating from an old identity that no longer serves them.
The professional who’s achieved everything they thought they wanted but feels empty inside.
They’re all facing the same question I faced in that park: Will you choose to let the old parts transform consciously, or will life eventually force the change on you?
The Hardest Part
Here’s what I’ve learned: Sometimes the most disorienting thing about growth isn’t figuring out who you’re becoming.
It’s having the courage to let go of who you used to be.
It’s scary to release the identity that got you this far, even when you know it won’t get you where you need to go next.
But here’s the thing: on the other side of that letting go is a version of yourself that’s more aligned, more authentic, and ultimately more fulfilled.
Your Turn
I’m curious: What part of your old identity might be ready to transform?
Maybe it’s the part that says you have to have it all figured out.
Maybe it’s the part that prioritizes everyone else’s needs over your own.
Maybe it’s the part that’s afraid to take up space with your real thoughts and ideas.
Whatever it is, know that you don’t have to figure it all out at once. Sometimes transformation starts with just sitting in a park and listening to that quiet voice inside.
Take care of yourself,
Jenny
P.S. If this resonates and you’re ready to explore what’s next for you, I’d love to chat. You can reply to this email or book a conversation by messaging me.
