I used to leave initial coaching calls feeling a little frantic.
Not because anything went wrong. Clients left feeling like they got something out of it. We covered a lot. We moved fast. On paper, it looked like a productive hour.
But I knew they could get more.
The real job of a coach
Here’s what I’ve been sitting with lately: being a coach means being a leader.
People come to me because they want to go somewhere they haven’t been yet. Somewhere they can’t get to on their own. That’s a very different job than covering all the topics in 60 minutes.
So I’ve been practicing something that doesn’t come naturally to most people, including me.
Slowing down.
Going deep on one thread instead of trying to prove my value across everything in a single conversation.
What that actually looks like
A client is talking about wanting a complete career change. And almost as an aside, she says:
“Honestly, this job is going to kill me.”
Old me moves right past it. New me stops.
“Tell me more about what that feels like.”
“What about this job makes you feel like you don’t have control?”
“Have you felt this before?”
“What pattern do you see playing out again?”
“What becomes possible if we break that pattern?”
That one throwaway line? It’s not throwaway. It’s the thread. And when you pull it, that’s where the real work lives.
Why I’m learning this slowly (and that’s okay)
I’m learning this partly from being coached myself.
Because growing as a coach and best serving my clients means I have to keep evolving too. I’m in it, right alongside them. The discomfort of sitting with one thread instead of filling the call with more topics? I feel that too.
The hardest part is trusting that I don’t have to prove I’m adding value in one conversation.
Going deep on one thing IS the value.
A real conversation, if you want one
If you’re curious what it looks like to slow down and actually get to the root of what’s holding you back -- in your career, your leadership, or your life –-I’d love to offer you a complimentary coaching session.
No pressure. No agenda. Just a real conversation where we pull the thread.
Reply to this email and we’ll find a time that works.